Go Tories! Don’t dawdle! Pick Clarke! He’s just what you need. I’d love to see you elect the shambling jazz buff: a thoroughly unreconstructed and entirely fossilised political force – and he’ll be practically 70 by the time he meets scary, chromium-plated dynamo Gordon Brown at the next election. Wonderful. You’d better get on with it, though. If you wait for Cameron to get back from his holiday you’ll have missed your chance. Stage a coup or something. Ask one of those ’22 guys. They’ll know what to do.