11 Jul 2026

Count Binface and electoral theatre

Don’t be a costumed loon — It’s trivially easy to stand for Parliament in the UK. Any loon can do so. You need ten electors to nominate you and £500 for a deposit – and it’s actually been getting easier. The deposit was introduced in 1918 (£150 – quite a lot of money then). Before […]

3 Jun 2026

I hate this

But does it matter? — I don’t usually say that sort of thing here. I try to be more measured, less personal. I’m talking about the police face recognition vans obviously. This might not surprise you: I mean that I don’t like them. I’m an old git after all, a man who’s written here before […]

13 Jan 2025

Where is my patriotism?

Come, love of country, fill my heart… — I do love Britain. I guess I love England more. London most of all. I hope that in my life I’ve honoured the place I live and not disgraced it or undermined it (I support England and GB in sporting events – I fly a little flag […]


  • I am as a poet, apparently

    UPDATE: it’s finished. Here’s the PDF (it should be accessible to screen-readers and so on – let me know if you see any problems with the format). Or is it…

    Read more

  • An endless round of perfectly-formed gotchas

    Some people can’t tell the difference between advertising billboards and politics. — What is it that’s so contemptible about these stupid stunts? This shallow, patronising bollocks? For liberals, this kind…

    Read more

  • The bankruptcy of the growth mindset

    Of course he’s on LinkedIn — I shouldn’t be surprised that the British Prime Minister – any contemporary national leader, really – is on LinkedIn. It’s supposed to say “I…

    Read more

  • Slow progress

    It is possible for geniuses to explain things in ways that non-geniuses can understand but sometimes they need to switch formats to do it. — I’ve spent a stupid amount…

    Read more

  • And your enemies closer

    ’Close-marking’ is an electoral strategy, the invention of the now legendary Labour Party spokesman Alastair Campbell and strategist Peter Mandelson. — The idea is that an opposition party assembles focus…

    Read more

  • End of the line

    The Conservative Party is, famously, the most successful political party in history. — The party is a shape-shifting cockroach that’s survived the whole industrial era, the expansion of the franchise,…

    Read more

  • Metre disorder

    I love poetry. I write poetry, I love rhyme and rhythm and structural play of all kinds. I write in rhyme. But I can’t see metre. — I know what…

    Read more

  • Civilianise the police

    Trying to turn a 19th Century property-protection force, organised like the army, into a 21st Century organisation, modelled on a corporation, is a mug’s game. — The Met is in…

    Read more

  • Hi-viz

    Read more

  • How do you like your tradition?

    Essentially perfect small town joy or ridiculous and contrived ceremonial fiction? — I was watching this ace video about the shrovetide madness that takes over in several small English towns…

    Read more

  • 1998, the last time New York City had the correct amount of visual chaos

    It was the end of history but it was before 9/11, before the dot.com crash, a whole decade before the Great Recession — Zuckerberg was still at school. I was…

    Read more

  • Night shift

    Read more