So after two or three hours running up and down the garden in the fine drizzle, lighting fireworks of every variety (including some fucking enormous roman candle bundles about the size of a fire bucket), I can confirm that my favourite is the Angry Wasps Mine from Standard Fireworks. It produces a gorgeous fountain of multi-coloured sparks for about 30 seconds and then stops… for just long enough to convince you that it’s all over. The bang that follows is awesome – the percussion, even from the the other end of the garden, where you are cowering, is startling – a big shove in the chest that leaves everyone laughing and grinning like fools. Speaking as your doctor, I suggest you get a big box of these things and keep them handy for those difficult days…
In which I try, after 25 years of blogging, to drop my ironic stance a bit.